I will always…

Have you ever wondered about the person who is worth melting for? Who’s slightest touch leaves a mark on you and their presence affecting your aura and purpose of life.  I hold the pen begin to write, breathing desperately trying to open the doors of my mind to pace me towards new dimensions. I ponder strongly for hours, days and sometimes weeks over questions like, “What if trees had emotions residing inside of them as well! Would I have to owe them an apology at the cost of my freedom of expression?” An odd thought flashing before you right? Take a read.  Imagine them fearing death, suppressed dealing with the notion, never ready to depart just like we do. But without their support my work and purpose feels incomplete. If they vanished from the root of existence and the graphite slowly dwindles too, I’d be lost wandering in the middle of no where in search of my tools to reach to you! I wonder what if my fingers numb and muscles are cramped and fatigued. Then I wonder strongly if I could write letters with my lips and maybe use yours as my notebook? Our love would surely strengthen as you would be the paper to my pen. I still wonder should I go out and beg for forgiveness to every tree out there – stripped from its bark? To every piece of graphite confined to my pencil for the sole purpose and having the purest intentions of putting my thoughts to words and expressing myself to you! I will let the trees be stripped down and every gram of graphite be exploited as long as I’m able to reach you. Meaning you will read me once more tonight and just once more in the morning till the day we depart. I would go extremes for you if I have to. I will always hold the pen for you 🌷

[Mk’s Quill]

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Morose

She rushed towards the sink, with her heart pounding fast and lungs gasping for air. She looked up to the mirror and stared at the ghost before her. It had pale skin, as if a blur current had passed underneath and sunken eyes with purple rings perching on the ledges of its cheekbones, protruding from its facial features. It was hard accepting her reflection. Multiple questions crashed in her head, she couldn’t remember when was her last contact with civilization and sadly, there was no clear-cut answer. Her natural spark of tinted lips and rosy cheeks had vanished, she was clad in worn out pajamas and with disheveled hair. Her aroma was an extreme blend of sea salt, weed and vomit which triggered a craving in her, instantly. She lit up a cigarette, held it in between her teeth and inhaled deeply, letting the smoke seep into her lungs, diffuse into her blood stream and hit her nerves. The comfort she ached for had finally returned. It was her version of the blue pill. She watched the specks of ash float calmly, sprinkling all over the sink as if her miseries were shearing away — so satisfying. She kept puffing, cramming the maximum dose of nicotine into her system.
Partial flashbacks arrived during this time. She remembered a glimpse of a storm she was stuck in badly for God knows how long, she swirled in an ocean of emotions and drowned almost completely! The feeling was strange; too familiar yet too strange. She was trapped in her own darkness and despair which she constantly tried to get rid of or file away and forget, like that “F” she scored in her college chemistry final or that layer of dead skin she always exfoliates however, this was intense. She ran short of words to express her state of paranoia. ‘It was heavy’ was the only way she managed to define it. It chased her everywhere she went. It was as if she was tied in shackles with it. Some days arrived when the ray of hope and sunshine would diminish instantly by it’s weight and it would just keep on growing heavier. Other days were just normal, but the wounds still existed or the scars wouldn’t vanish that constantly kept on dragging her in the cycle of misery. Most of the time she was oblivious to why she was forced into a contract with it and how long will this agony last. One day the anchor sank dragging her into the deepest parts of the ocean with itself. It sank out of nowhere and pronto, the stress kept majoring. She was drowning badly, water had filled her entire lungs making it difficult to breathe. She desperately cried for help, but her world was too gloomy and cold. In her last moments she felt as if death was any time soon — she was about to meet her Creator….
She quickly gripped over her senses and flushed the cigarette bud. How badly she strived to normalize and end this contract. Sadly, there was no rainbow, streaks of hope or any loopholes. She tried her max to blend in with civilization, but who knew it had its own reservations and battles against her. She was marginalized to an untouchable species — Depression had now gulped her entire existence completely. It was not something dark or cold, it was something without any weight or volume; it was empty.

Communication is an ointment!

Everybody want’s something to happen but everyone’s too afraid of making the first move. My motivation for today is, learn to communicate, whether is be your parents, partner, friends, enemies, anyone, even if it is your ownself. Even if it’s uneasy or uncomfortable or even time consuming, just do it! This is very imperitive. It’s one of the main keys to any kind of success. It is also the best way to heal wounds — it’s like an ointment; the more you flush out the faster you heal and the healthier you become. Never be afraid of taking the initiative, maybe you make someone’s day light up instantly or get to have a learning experience about the actual situation or feel better by your own instead of being dependent on anyone or anything. Remember this,

“One of the most sincere and pure forms of love and respect is to just listen to one another.”

So along with expressing, start being a listener too, maybe things actually become better for a change. Happy sunday! 🌸🐻✌

You are a Queen; carry yourself with Royalty.

  

She was laying in her bed, eyes full of tears waiting for him; It seemed like forever. She had covered her face with her hands and kept on weeping in frustration. Her mascara spilled all over her face like ink spreading when it first kisses paper. She was thinking why he had eventually said, “I cannot be with you.” Her mind was crowded with numerous thoughts and could blow any second now.  She was still wondering why her relationship went through thick and thin inspite of making constant efforts to do everything in the world that he liked. Despite shifting the blame on her for his faults and apologizing for the the scars he gave her. Irrespective of fighting constantly for him, standing up for him against all odds, waiting all day and staying up all night just to hear his voice or see a text pop up. She still hoped for things to be in her favour. She could not understand why on Earth he was never pleased when she had changed herself totally to match his expectations. Despite all such efforts why he had never ever given her a word of appreciation or considered her something lower than shit. While she was lost in these thoughts, she once again tried calling him and texted him; no luck, she was still blocked from everywhere. She kept waiting that maybe one day he might return until her efforts finally paid off — her call went through and he finally picked up. She desperately asked him sobbing “What was my mistake?.” She always tried her best to patch things up but once again he had no answer. Like usual he diverted the issue, pretending nothing happend and showed no intrest to have a civil conversation. From loving him unconditionally, to accepting his flaws, forgiving him cheating, ignoring her and giving the time she deserved to someone else, from losing weight to destroying her sleep cycle, to blocking her childhood male friends to covering up her body in public and much more — she put every inch of her existence to make him the perfect smoothie, but he never craved for her flavor.
  Once again a pack of cigarettes, countless calorie intake and sleep did the job easing her life a bit but making things even more worse.
This real life story is dedicated to all ladies out there feeling lost and shattered and constantly trying to get things working again and putting their maximum energy in making him smile. If he loves you he will smile without you even putting the slightest of efforts.  Once a glass is broken no matter how much amount of glue or tape you put to put the pieces back together, it won’t repair or go back to it original form. Please do not waste your precious time over someone who says cute things to you but doesn’t show any effort to prove them. There is something beyond your expectations waiting for you with a bang! Exfoliate the memories laced on you like dead skin, shed that bad hair and move on. I promise they will come back once they realize they never found anyone of your caliber. You are a queen and should carry yourself with dignity and royalty so don’t settle for something so low and stoop yourself down to that level. Believe you can and you are already half way there my love. Be strong enough to walk away from all that is paralyzing you and be patient enough to wait for all those blessings out there written for you. Don’t bother taking revenge, karma does the job free of cost 🙂 and honestly speaking get yourself a guy who would love you even if you are a sack of potatoes. A man who loves you will surely take time out everyday from his life no matter how busy he is. A gentleman won’t ever push you to a level you trip over smashing your face and above all he won’t ever let go of a precious snowflake you are. ✌🌸

#Randominnerramblings

The Creature.

She stood against the kitchen sink like a ghost; numbed by deep thoughts whirling around her. She gazed at the moon slowly ascend into the sky through the blinds. Streams of moonlight shooted on the land beneath, bleeding silver, infiltrating through the spaces of the blinds, etching a shadowy figured beast behind her. She stood there feeling like a piece of the night, as if someone carefully cut her outline and peeled it away. The creature grew in length but stood there, tranquil as the night. It impersonated every movement of her as if it was worshipping her. It was an immaculate outline of her shape, an echo of her movements, a lifetime companion stitched to her soul. The grim outline of the shadow had possessed her completely; mesmerizing her instantly in a divine aura of magic. 
[MK’s Quill]

Stars

Sequin-silver chips bathing in the atramentous sky like a surreal blanket above her. 🌌

(Mk’s Quill)

Even time has a limit!

I have days when I just write and my hands cannot stop for any known reason and then there are days when I dont want to even read or let alone write a sentence. A monochromatic phase of my life, dull, life less and you have no count of time. 

    It’s true, “Life is a short period of time between birth and death.” 

 Time is so valuable and precious yet most of us take it for granted as if we have an unlimited supply of it. I often ponder whether if we are slaves of time or we have become slaves of time. We procrastinate and waste it so much yet ironically we are always worried about the future we let the present slip through our fingers and farwell to quality time. Its quiet odd that even locked up in the chains of this so called slavery we imagine ourselves taking charge — or atleast we are the ones who should be in charge Ay? There’s the rub! 

       At times I worry so much about the future and I fail to comprehend why is this so. Is it because of my immaturity and lack of wisdom? I never paid any heed to all of the time enclosed in my life into a speck of a timeline. I always have plenty of it. So much of time that I let it slide through my fingers like worthless pennies or sand. So much of it that I watched it drain like water in a sink. So much that it vanished like a mirage in a desert or a magician in an act. Plenty of time I had as if I just watched it numbly flying across the empty horizon. Now I eventually realize and understand not only in my head but my entire being that for some of us today might be our last tomorrow. I wish it would slow down to a trickle and those warm sunny moments became an age. Time is a cold reality. It wont stop for you or anything in this cruel world. My quality of interactions with the world was as if fleetings were exchanged rather than moments of quality experienced and connected. I’m so worried about what will happen next or what needs to be done, that I never enjoyed or appreciated the moments I was or am blessed with. The clock is ticking. A new dawn is heading your way with its rosey fingers spilling over the horizon, new clouds with silver linings will form, you will grow a day older and would have lost 24 hours by then. So dont look back, for time will end you. Pace forward and make your way through life. You never know the numerous suprises and blessings it has to offer than the obstacles you will face in this rat race. 💭

[MK’s Quill]

22.06.17

The  Alphabet W – Words! Its your strike

Words are not just blots of ink on a piece of paper. There are 26 alphabets in the english language; alone they are helpless and enervated. But when they join hands together, they attain a new dimension. Alphabets need the identity of “words.” They are fragments of ones soul and embodiments of emotions that were untold. Their power is so intense that they can either stab a person and poison ones mind or they can make one’s day or even life. They can create magic or spell doom, be mysterious or put you in a severe amount of misery, they can lift your spirit or put you into an abyss, they can lift the curve of your lips and form a smile or can can make you cry till you dehydrate. Words! Mere words! They can start a revolution and spread peace or lead to mass killings.  Words are reflections of your thoughts – use them cleverly.
They build bridges for relationships to ambulate on or they can wreck one’s soul.
They can inspire and transform individuals, heck nations and they can also lead to global disorder.
The can shun or retard ones growth.

Words heal and are therapeutic but they are also toxic and fatal.
They liberate thoughts to freedom or they can strangle and confine someone in a shackles.
Choose your words well! Think before you strike!  Don’t pretend to be oblivious of the effect they have on an individuals life. They are not just words, sounds or letters rearranged and uttered; they are the most deadliest weapons one possess. [MK’s Quill] 

02.05.17

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